no more pullups b/c i have no bar...    waaaaahh! hahahha....that closest one is a 40min run away at a beach...yeah, i really like to do pullups b/c it works out your biceps, stomach and back...i used to be able to do 20 in a row on a good day but i guess it's all going away...i'm still a bit disappointed in myself b/c sometimes at Cal football games, there's a Marine Officer recruiting stand by the student section and you get prizes for doing pullups...that day, i could only do 19 and got a football, which is nice, but not as nice as a backpack for doing 20! hahahha

Merry Christmas everyone!

this has been on my mind for awhile and i finally got around to posting my thoughts...i wish i wrote it down earlier b/c now i don't really care much about it anymore

so my parents and many people tell me, "oh you're a nice guy" and yadda yadda yadda and it really bothers me...i'm glad God is the judge (oh wait, we're going to judge angels no?) b/c really,  i'm actually not that nice...i'm a man of contradictions: a cold-hearted soldier with compassion, can be as deceitful as the devil, am pretty selfish at times, i care about people and sometimes at the same time i don't give a crap.

so back on topic, caring v. being nice...i believe they are two totally different "things" (can't think of the word) but on the outside no one can tell the difference...i believe simply being nice is superficial while actually caring for something runs much deeper...being nice is just being polite, courteous, considerate etc. but the person really doesn't give a crap about the other...for example, holding a door for someone, giving a dollar to the homeless,  making food for others--being nice or does the person really care?  can't tell on the outside (reminds me of speaking to someone who's trying to sell you something)

on the other hand, you really know when someone cares about something by seeing how much s/he is willing to sacrifice.  Is Jesus Christ some nice guy?  No, he's much deeper than that.  He truly cares for the people he serves

i get a bit angry when my parents/other people say that i'm too nice b/c really i'm not; it's just that what they see is something that i really care about...but at the same time, it is very hard to tell whether someone is being nice or the person really cares....i know there are times when my gestures were acts of niceness and i really didn't give a crap.

end of rant.